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Chapstick

Posted by stonearttraders on October 1, 2009 at 9:01 PM Comments comments (0)

 

We had this great 10-year-old cat named Jack who just recently died.  Jack was a great cat, and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom.


We have three kids, and at the time of this story, they were 4 years old, 3 years old, and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loved Chapstick. LOVED...

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eGreetings from Hallmark

Posted by stonearttraders on September 30, 2009 at 6:17 PM Comments comments (2)

A good belly laugh clears out the lungs and recharges the grey matter... so what are you waiting for?!!!

  • The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
  • More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't ...
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Not So Famous Funny Sayings

Posted by stonearttraders on July 23, 2009 at 11:14 PM Comments comments (0)

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." --Author Unknown


Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." --Author Unknown


"Oh, you hate your j...

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Never Argue with a Woman

Posted by stonearttraders on July 23, 2009 at 10:47 PM Comments comments (0)

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.


Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

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Laws of Life

Posted by stonearttraders on July 23, 2009 at 10:36 PM Comments comments (0)
  • Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
  • Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  • Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  • Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number you never get...
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Things That Make You Go...Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Posted by stonearttraders on July 23, 2009 at 12:19 PM Comments comments (0)
  1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.  He thought he was God and I didn't.
  2. I don't suffer from insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it!
  3. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  4. Don't take life too seriously -- no one gets out alive.
  5. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me..
  6. Beauty ...
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The Philosophy of Ambiguity

Posted by stonearttraders on July 14, 2009 at 1:25 PM Comments comments (1)

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: Please enjoy and understand the following

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOW...

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Generation F and the 3 Email Challenge

Posted by stonearttraders on April 27, 2009 at 12:14 PM Comments comments (0)

Well, for us baby boomers who are earnestly attempting the transition to the virtual world of the "Web", (now Web 2.0), it always helps to inject the effort with humor, lot's of humor!  It's such a new world for a many of us, complete with it's own vocabulary and acronym's.  Rather than...

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