|Posted by stonearttraders on July 23, 2009 at 12:19 PM|
- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
- I don't suffer from insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it!
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- Don't take life too seriously -- no one gets out alive.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me..
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
- I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing!
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- God must love stupid people -- He made so many!
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Being"over the hill" is much better than being under it.
- Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
- Procrastinate now!
- I have a degree in Liberal Arts -- do you want fries with that?
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
- Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
- He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
- A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
- Ham and eggs -- a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
- The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Compliments of my friend and former colleague Susan!
Categories: Web Humor