### Blog

#### Laws of Life

 Posted by stonearttraders on July 23, 2009 at 10:36 PM
• Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
• Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
• Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number you never get a busy signal.
• Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
• Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
• Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
• Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
• Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
• Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
• Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, someone will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
• Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
• Law of Rugs/Carpets - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
• Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.
• Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. * Law of Silence - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• Law of Availability - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it (this one is true every time).
• Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
• Assembly Law - Identical parts, aren't.
• Cole's Law - Thinly sliced cabbage.

Thanks Randy!

Categories: Web Humor