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Laws of Life

Posted by stonearttraders on July 23, 2009 at 10:36 PM
  • Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
  • Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  • Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  • Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number you never get a busy signal.
  • Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  • Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
  • Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  • Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
  • Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
  • Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
  • Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, someone will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  • Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
  • Law of Rugs/Carpets - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
  • Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.
  • Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. * Law of Silence - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • Law of Availability - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it (this one is true every time).
  • Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
  • Assembly Law - Identical parts, aren't.
  • Cole's Law - Thinly sliced cabbage.


Thanks Randy!

Categories: Web Humor

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